As we all have heard,
“getting old isn’t for sissies.” I’m certainly no sissy! But I am getting
older. And it is discouraging. Both Dave and I have had our share of health
issues, and we expect them as a normal part of being human. However, as we are
home today, on the 4th of July, I admit that it is easy to begin to
feel sorry for ourselves. We should be celebrating with family and friends
today, but Dave has had a second round of pneumonia which is sapping his
strength and I am still recovering from arthroscopic knee surgery. So, home we
remain.
I remember quite clearly
when we were in our 30’s and 40’s, and feeling invincible, how much our parents
and their generation had begun comparing their aches and pains. Wow, is that
all older people have to talk about?? Arthritis seemed to be a prevalent topic
of comparison. Along with bursitis, back pain, neck pain and other health
issues. I remember about 25 years ago when I mentioned to my dad that I had a
pain in one of my finger joints and he correctly predicted that it was just
arthritis and that one day the pain would be gone and in its place would be a
hard bump. My parents were both plagued by arthritis, but amazingly Dave’s
parents didn’t seem to suffer from it. Heart issues and cancer were their
demise. I know ‘Arthur” can be a hereditary thing and I seem to have received a
double whammy. My husband does have a bit of it in his back and neck, where he
has bulging discs that have damaged his spine, but not in other typical spots.
We have had to let go of some
activities that we took for granted when we were younger, like skiing, softball,
hiking, biking, helping friends move, extensive gardening and for me even going
on long walks (due to a painful foot due to a softball injury.) We have
downsized, eliminating the treacherous staircase on which I had fallen down
twice because of a bad knee. We simplified our lives by locating to a home with
no lawn and minimal landscape to take care of. Gardening is in my blood and I
still like to dig in the dirt a bit and enjoy growing beautiful flowers, herbs
and vegetables.
But I digress. Getting
older means that our friends are also getting older. We have always gravitated
towards people who are several years older than we are, although we have plenty
of friends our age as well. I play bunco and pinochle regularly with ladies and
I am the “kid.” One of our ladies had a stroke and has had to move in with her
daughter in Tacoma, so I won’t be seeing her anymore. I suppose living in an
over 55 community means we will be seeing more illness and death of those we
care about. I love these ladies and wouldn’t trade this quiet environment for
one bustling with loud children and partying teenagers.
Once again, I digress. It
isn’t just health issues that showcase the aging process. It is the ever
widening gap that we witness between our children’s generation and ours. I love
it when our kids and their families are all together. It is so satisfying to
see that they like each other and choose to spend time together. Conversations
are lively and animated. Our grandchildren are a joy to be around and we love
playing with them. However, while the younger generation catches up on the
latest news and stories, we find that we have little in common. They don’t know
many of our friends and though they try to listen to what we have to share,
they really can’t relate. It is really no one’s fault! We certainly don’t blame
them. And I don’t blame us! They are young and on the go. We are old and
getting slow. One on one is a different matter altogether. There seems to be
plenty to talk about. We have each other’s undivided attention. But when our
kids and their friends are together, we rather feel like we are on the outside
looking in. I remember when my parents went through this same phase of life.
They couldn’t relate to the much of the conversations because they really
weren’t a part of the younger generation’s lifestyle. I know we are not the
only ones who feel just a tad bit “out of it” as we have heard from friends
that experience the same things.
When I was young, I could
go into a store and have someone right there to ask if they could help me. Oh,
yes, I still find that people ask me that, but if there are two or three of us
who need help, it is generally the younger ones who are sought out first. I
call this “being invisible.” Maybe it is
because the younger people usually have more money to spend. And this reminds
me of the movie “Pretty Woman” where Julia Roberts is turned away by an
employee in a high end clothing store because she looks like, well, actually
like a hooker, which is what she was.
Then, after successfully spending oodles of money at another boutique
comes back, dressed to the nines, carrying several bags, and says “Remember me?
I was in here yesterday and you turned me away. You work on commission, don't you? Big mistake….big HUGE mistake.”
I guess old people really aren’t the only ones who are invisible. Besides, many
retired folks have plenty of money to spend.
So, as you can see, the
aging process can take a toll. Yet there are those who seem to breeze through
these years and are still going strong well into their 90’s. Sadly, that isn’t
us. We admire them and sometimes get a twinge of envy, but the reality is that
as we are aging we do experience health issues and sore and worn out joints. Statistics
show that an estimated 52.5 million
adults in the United States reported being told by a doctor that they have some
form of arthritis, rheumatoid arthritis, gout, lupus, or fibromyalgia. Misery
loves company, and I am in good company since statistics show that from 2010-2012,
49.7% of adults 65 years or older reported an arthritis diagnosis. Hallelujah, I guess I’m normal!
Please don’t think that I am whining about our lot in life!
Both Dave and I consider ourselves mature enough to realize that the process of
living means things can’t stay static. We accept our limitations. I can still
hop in the swimming pool and soak up the sunshine. We are reading way more
books than ever. And we just purchased a Weber kettle charcoal grill. After
all, we do have time to wait for the briquettes to get hot! We live a leisurely
life and find great joy in this slower pace. We get to spend quality time with
friends and family, eat scrumptious meals at home and one day soon we hope to
get back to golfing. My knee needs a few more weeks to heal. God has been
gracious with us, as we move through this stage of life. Life isn’t over…..it’s
just different.
There is one thing that I hope to purchase soon. Dave has
been reluctant, but I want a recliner! I think he is seeing the value of having
one these days. One of us could sleep in it when the other is in bed having
coughing fits. And recovery from joint surgery would be much more pleasant if I
could lay back in one and ice my knee more easily. HA! And I bet we will get
helped right away by a sales clerk when he or she sees us looking at recliners!
We all need to learn how to age gracefully….I think I will
have Dave make me a margarita and relax on the patio with a nice book. And hold
the salt. I don’t need high blood pressure on top of everything else! Here’s to
my fellow baby-boomers and beyond!
